Its important to recognize that this pandemic has been a trial that Allah has placed on us during this time. As such marriages will be tested. Tests can make a relationship stronger or no longer. The quality of the pre-pandemic relationship can be the determining factor of how a marriage will sustain itself while we shelter in place. The couples who have a healthy loving relationship during normal times will not have any difficulty spending quality time with their mates during these times.
Many who marry take the ayat from Allah to heart where he stated
"They (your wives) are a clothing (covering) for you and you too are a clothing (covering) for them." (Surah 2, Verse187)
I view this ayat from the perspective that clothing serves as a protection for us against the elements, similarly marriage serves as a protection from many psychological, physical, and spiritual elements.
We must be protective of one another in normal times, and especially so during this pandemic. We do not know how long the world will be in this present state of pandemia.
Just as sickness is a means of expiation of sins we have to view the sickness that has enveloped the planet as a means of purification for the planet.
With this in mind we have to practice patience with ourselves and with each other. How does the pandemic impact marriages? If we don’t manage our stress and anger it can cause toxicity to be present in the household.
"And one of His signs is that He has created for you, spouses from amongst yourselves so that you might take comfort in them and He has placed between you, love and mercy. In this there is surely evidence (of the truth) for the people who carefully think." (Surah 30, Verse 21)
We must work to dwell with our mates as Allah ordained in these ayats. We must work to identify means of maintaining tranquility during these times. Here are some suggestions that make weathering this pandemic bearable, and more pleasant:
- Pray and fast, and study together more often.
- Daily Communications with your spouse that includes active listening.
- Allow the relationship to breathe. Take time for yourself, and spend time together.
- Establish an exercise regiment individually or as a couple. (Ex. walks, meditation, working out.)
- Date safely( Drive-In or movie night @ home, dining out at restaurants that observe pandemic protocols, board games, etc.
Above all remember the five love languages as you interact with each other, and know each other’s love language. ( http://www.5lovelanguages.com).
The pandemic can be an opportunity to strengthen your bond with your mate. Use the time that Allah has given us wisely; so that when it is lifted our love cups will be overflowing.
“ The Best Of You Are Those Who Are Best To Their Women.”
Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ)
Imam Nadim Sulaiman Ali, LPC,MAC
01/05/1442 A.H.- 08/24/2020 C.E.
Nadim Ali LPC, MAC
Born in Chester, Pa. Married father of 5. Imam of the Community Masjid of Atlanta since 2005. Former convener for the Majlis Ash-Shura of Atlanta. Founding member of MANA(Muslim Alliance Of North America) & current member of the MANA Diwan. Co- Founder of the Da’wah Ensemble Spoken Word Acappella Group. MA in Counseling Psychology, Georgia School Of Professional Psychology. Licensed Professional Counselor(LPC) & Master Addiction Counselor in private practice.
Makkah International Institute